OKay...

pretty much everone i know deserves an apology. im a lying, annoying, fucked up bitch that cant even keep freinds in this crazy place called the internet. and im sorry, i have issues okay? Iv havent had any friends i so long...and even when i did have friends, i was always clingy and deathly afraid that they didnt like me. It hurt me so badly when they would go and make plans and have parties, and i was never invited to a single one, so when i was 12, i gave up. i just sat up in my room and cried for hours and cut myself and shit. Tis summer. i got back on the internet. i thought maybe i could finally make friends here. I did but..

all that crazy shit came back. i would get happy when someone liked me, or said i was pretty, or made me laugh. but every time ...I see this person hanging out with someone else, and i would get jealous and lonely and feel the same way i did when i was in my room alone and i could hear the fucking party right outside my window. i guess..i make everyone whos a freind to me my nuber one, and i just wanted someone to do the same for me.

I just wanted someone to like me...thats why i have DA account and a youtube..all i ever wanted was for people to like me.

But i guess thats not possible. Im too fucked up, and i take it out on everyone, and im afraid if i keep doing this,im going to slip into a depression again, and i cant let that happen, because im scard of what will happen..i dont think id ever kill myself, but once upon a time, i didnt think id ever cut myself to, and here i am, with a ton of scars om my left arm

so yeah..i might end up deleting my youtube and fanfiction and deletes everything here on DA and just leave evryone alone..im sorry everyone,

and Josh...im sorry. YOU messed with ME and MY emotions, you have no right to be mad at me. well, maybe you do. but im just saying.

somanJunior..: love you always, my angel

DL hug: you always cheer me up. love you too.